I would like to quickly change perspective. It is easy to get caught in anger and judgment. It is easy for me to judge those who I perceive to be judging. It is more helpful for me to turn it around again to a sense of gratefulness.

I really am blessed. I have enough to eat, I am warm, I have two wonderful kids, I live in a community where I have friends who I love and who love me. I have a sense of purpose now which is still developing.

I do, occasionally, fall and need to be helped up again. I am human. I ask for help. Maybe admitting this vulnerability and asking for help is a gift: the gift of the opportunity for someone else to give and be helpful.

We really need each other. I think that we are just pretending when we say to ourselves that we are independent.

I have heard that it is possible to accept this interconnectedness, vulnerability and insecurity so deeply that a basic sense of love and wholeness emerges.

I quote here a series of sentences that a friend offered to me which helps me when I repeat it like a mantra:

Could I can let go of wanting to figure things out?
Could I let go of wanting to know what to do?
Could I let go of wanting to know the answers?
Could I let go of wanting to know  anything (for this moment) right now?
Could I let go of wanting to think?
And again and again.

There is something that I need to remember. I need to remember that when a person responds with judgment and not compassion, that says something about that person who is judging. I am quick to believe other people’s assessment of my situation before I allow myself the time that I need to make my own assessment. True, I am looking for help. Sometimes I am really grasping.

Sometimes I feel like I am in a free fall. I have heard that if you can relax and allow that free fall that fall can turn into flight. Please Lord help me to let go.